Friday 1 February 2013

Help! My Husband Is So Unromantic!

I'm a young lady of 25 and I just got married but the problem am facing is that my husband is not romantic. I've tried everything to change him, even calling him in the middle of nightto talk to him about how to be romantic but he still hasn't changed, and I love him so, so much and I wish he would just change so our marriage would be just as I have always dreamed because I can't picture a life without romance. I love kissing, cuddling and little surprises but he just does not get it."First of all define romantic! You wake a man in the middle of the night to chat? Is that your idea of being romantic? Waking a man up to chat when you know he has to work in the morning? What do you want to talk about that cannot wait till the next day? Forget all those things our parents did when we were growing up, this is not the time, save it for emergencies, waking up a sleeping man for something that's not an emergency is never a good idea. . 
If your husband is a workaholic and all he does is talk about sub-sea engineering and installations then don't think you can change him. And for those single ladies who want to start their very own Ultimate Search (romance edition), think again. "Mills and Boon" is very different from reality so don't have unrealistic ideals about marriage. The Honeymoon is over. He has beat out the competition and secured the prize "you" his wife, so he no longer feels the need to make you feel special or significant just bearing his last name is supposed to satisfy you and be enough. But it isn't, is it?


That said, remember on your wedding day you said "I do" therefore, YOU DO have a major part to play. If you long for romance, take the bull by the horns and instigate it. A close observation of human beings will make it clear to you that humans mirror each other.

So, then make things more playful and spontaneous. Romance shouldn't feel like work. Before he gets home from work run a bubble bath, help him take off his shirt. After serving his food, offer him a massage. He will wonder what has come over you. In your sweetest voice, tell him that you love him, but you need to feel appreciated and desirable. Do not move your head side to side in an Egyptian fashion with a hand on your hip whilst you do this. (You know what I mean? Like when a black person is angry or talking with attitude, they sort of jut their head side to side and it's just the chin moving... I find a lot of us black women seem to do this). If you are one of them, it needs to be addressed..
They say it takes 21 days to form a new habit so he may not reciprocate immediately. In the meantime, find out what he likes and make it more pleasurable for him. I'm not saying that you should force yourself to enjoy the African cup of nations ( I can't watch a football match without getting dizzy and wondering why they can't all have a ball each). So go into the kitchen and fry some beef for him to nibble on during the game (just a few pieces though) then go and do something you enjoy. 
You'd need to take one day at a time and communicate to him how you want to be loved and give him concrete examples of how you define romance. He may be working his behind off doing things he thinks are romantic, wondering why you are not satisfied. He's not in your head, he can't feel what you feel. So demonstrate, explain, use analogies, similes, what ever it takes to help him understand how you feel. 
Please listen to him, learn what seems romantic to him so you can recognize his efforts at being romantic. When you see him trying, encourage him in the best way you know how.
Just remember that there will be times in your marriage that seem very boring and many men are not so romantic, so don't play the blame game. Life is different once you get married and you have to settle into a routine and all those responsibilities in life come crashing in. The first thing you have to do is accept that being married isn't all fun and games but a commitment to each other and your relationship, to work hard to build a family that will be a blessing to society. Life is what you make it and if you want your relationship to survive, you have to work at it and that includes finding ways to have those romantic moments that you had before you got married. 

Ijeoma Olujekun


2 comments:

  1. my name is JULIE MATTIE. When i read a testimony online on how dr.drust the great and most powerful spell caster online of great ultimate temple, i was wondering how can this be true, Because many has failed me in the past without any result from them. I just let the post pass by and move on the forum. To my notice under again, Some person posted and said tested and trusted spell caster. After reading through the mail it was this same dr.trust she was talking about. So i have no other option than to really check up how he works. Thank him for making my wish come true! I was totally devastated when my beloved lover left me. It was like my entire world vanishing into sorrow and pain. I felt how sincere, honest and authentic he was from his first email. I know it sounds weird but out of all the spell casters I contacted, he was the only one to give me that impression of being so true and trustful. More than his words, it s the fantastic work he accomplished for me that I will keep in mind. He brought my lover back and he made all my wishes come true. He is now loyal, pays attention to me, he offers me flowers every Sunday, and we often go out at the cinema and the restaurant. I will be forever thankful for turning my life from hell to heaven! i believe who need help should get to him for help. TRULY SPEAKING THIS MAN IS REALLY A GREAT SPELL CASTER AS HE DID NOT FAIL ME BUT GRANT MY WISHES BY BRING MY HUSBAND BACK TO ME. if you are passing through any kind of difficult in your relationship email him and he will help you (ultimatespellcast@gmail.com or ultimatespellcast@yahoo.com tel:+2348156885231) to get the problem solve, Because there is no spell caster online like him.

    ReplyDelete
  2. My name is morgan keri.i want to give thanks to dr.trust for bringing back my ex husband.No one could have ever made me believe that the letter I’m about to write would actually one day be written. I was the world’s biggest skeptic. I never believed in magic spells or anything like this, but I was told by a reliable source (a very close co-worker) that Trust is a very dedicated, gifted, and talented person,It was one of the best things I have ever done. My love life was in shambles; I had been through two divorces and was on the brink of a third. I just couldn't face another divorce, and I wanted to try harder to make our relationship work, but my husband didn’t seem to care. and he brake up with me again.I was confuse and do not no what to do again,rather them to get in contact with dr.trust. He did a love spell that make my husband come back to me. we are now very much happy with our self. dr.trust make him to realize how much we love and need each other.This man is for REAL and for good.he can also help you to fix your broken relationship. I had my husband back! It was like a miracle! He suddenly wanted to go to marriage counseling, and we’re doing very, very well,in our love life.contact email(ultimatespellcast@gmail.com or ultimatespellcast@yahoo.com tel:+234186885231)

    ReplyDelete